Wait

by Alexi Murdoch

Such a poet. Love his music.

If you ever saw the movie Away We Go you will recognize his music from that movie. I must admit that I had never heard of him until I saw that movie but since then he has become a favorite.

Have a listen. He is lovely.

Earl Scruggs

The world lost one of the greatest bluegrass legends today. I imagine he is sitting around playing banjo in a bluegrass circle with his family and friends.

That's my kind of heaven.

 

Excuses...excuses...excuses

Life has been busy. My deepest apologies to the five people who read this blog and check it only to go, “Really?! Still the lame chili one?!”

I thought I would do a quick catch up and then leave you with some potentially empty promises that  after my move, hopefully my computer will be unpacked and my internet up and running quickly for more regular posts.

The  MOOOOooove!

Well much to my surprise my rent was raised by $140 bucks a month and after the initial shock (is that legal?!) and panic reaction, I realized this was finally my chance to get out of the burbs and back to Portland. I did a reverse Craigslisting and the very next day my now current landlord contacted me. After some negotiating- ME: lower the rent…and pay for supplies and I will do the labor to fix the place up... HIM: Deal! I landed myself a labor of love that has turned into what feels like my whole life right now. My landlord has been awesome though! He has ordered things online, got me my subway tile for the kitchen, re-wired the bathroom for new lighting, tore up the ugly carpet and with the help of some amazing friends I have gone to work shining up the place. At the end of the month I will be living in a little 2 bedroom house with a yard, a place to park and very close to some of my very best friends. It will be a nice little place to live until I am ready to buy my own place. It has however been painful at times and there is a ton of work left to do. Not to mention I have been working so much on the new place that the current place is sitting around wondering when I am going to get packing!!

LOTS of Painting!

Unhappy Bathroom

UNHAPPY Kitchen

Paint Dipped Pony-tail

The Timbers!!

The Season has kicked off and I am officially married to the Timbers until the end of October. My season tickets have me in the second room in Section 110 and are such fun seats. The goals from my view are pretty spectacular. My section group is awesome! It consists of my brother from another mother…Sebastian (who looks like a Timbers version of Where’s Waldo with that hat he is superstitious about), our buddy Jared (the two forces of Jared and Sebastian combined are known as the Wood Brothers and have even made it on ESPN), my girl and relief from all the Wood jokes, Ann and the big, gruff, snarly (total softy who when I am not looking shields my purse from the rain because he KNOWS he loves me) Kirk.

Our boys look amazing this year and even though we got soaked during the first game it was very much worth it! The first match proved to be one of the best matches I have been too. The Great Scot Boyd is proving to live up to his reputation and of course that accent sealed the deal long ago for me. This is going to be a great season!

Half-Time...The slab of wood ended up the boy's drink holder

Seb and Jared...aka the Wood Brothers

Three-way Birthday…

With all the sad stuff that happened in February…I cancelled my bowling birthday party that was planned last month. My friend Jess’ birthday was on the day before our friend Derek died and Karie’s birthday was last week. It was decided that we would throw a make-up giant birthday party and it was a total blast! We all got together and went cosmic bowling! We broke out the glow sticks, put on the smelly bowling shoes and had a really great time! It was a nice relief getting everyone together after everything that had happened and just having fun. There was a ton of laughing, some terrible bowling and my hand only got stuck once in the bowling ball that was intended for children. Check out the super blurry...somewhat true to life...action shots below.

Cooking Class…

My cooking class is in full swing and I am teaching a group of very awesome 9 and 10 year olds. I went into it thinking I had a younger group on my hands and when I saw the group of kids walk in I had to scratch most of my lesson plans. These kids are so much fun and they want to learn how to be a chef. I can’t believe how skilled these kids are. I am also really impressed with their nutrition knowledge. It gives me some faith in the school system that they are familiar with so many health facts and have some nutrition basics. They blow all the adult classes out of the water with their knowledge. I have them for another month and then it is onto the next assignment. They exhaust me but I don’t notice until they have all left the kitchen. It’s been really fun! I can't take pictures of the kids but I will try and get some of our food soon!

Noah turned 4!

My nephew Noah had his 4th birthday and it was Superhero Themed Awesomeness! LOVE this kid! It's so fun now that he is getting older I can get him cooler gifts. He got a sketchpad and some colored pencils and I taught him how to play Go Fish with some fun Paul Frank Go Fish cards. Of course the card instructions say the game is intended for 5 years and up but my nephew is practically a genius and had it down pat!

Shamrock Run 5k

In the middle of all of that I have been attempting to continue my training for the races I have planned this year. The Shamrock Run was yesterday and it was so much fun! My girlfriends joined me for this race and they did awesome! I only got flipped off twice and it was on the up-hill part. I still have my big goal looming in the distance (Heartbreaker Half Marathon)…but after this race I have about four more fun ones in between, including a 7K women’s only race at Fort Vancouver and few more that are making me think I need to check my calendar soon.

Before

After...wanna guess who was flipping me off?? She's the one closest to the camera.

So...yep...pretty busy. I finished glazing my wood floors this evening in the new place, tomorrow I leave for Vegas for a week for a well deserved but kind of poorly timed vacation and NOW I just finished a blog post.

Everybody in the Pot Chili

I am in the excruciating process of moving. I hate it. The packing, the de-cluttering, the cleaning and of course the actual moving part. It’s an exciting move because I am finally getting over to North Portland and I am pretty sure I got really lucky on my digs. It’s closer to work, closer to some good friends, a fun part of town and I get to garden in my new place. (YAY!) Those new digs come with a lot of work attached though, so on top of all the normal headaches that come with a move, I am also doing a baby re-model of my new place. The place I am moving into is in that…”a lot of potential” phase. Thankfully I have some amazing friends and family that are clever, talented and clearly crazy. They are all pitching in to help me make the place more livable. My first big work weekend on the new place is coming up and we will see what I am really in for.

Because of the move, I have been trying to clean out my pantry. I pulled out some frozen ground turkey and decided that with some of the cans I had in the pantry that it was time to make an interpretation of a veggie/turkey chili. This is the "throw everything into the pot chili". This is NOT your traditional "take it to the fair to win a blue ribbon chili". HOWEVER, this is delicious, very healthy and a great way to get those veggies out of the fridge that look like they are on the verge of being thrown out soon. The ingredients are not measured exactly. Just go with what you got. Season and taste everything. If you have an extra veggie you want to throw in (corn is yummy!)…do it. If you dont' have celery, don't worry about it. You don’t have turkey but you have beef or you don’t have ANY meat…no problem. If you don't have garlic...go out and buy some...everyone should have fresh garlic on hand. (I have to draw the line at some point) Just make sure that you let all the seasonings come together on the stove for a while and taste as you go so you can adjust your seasonings and acid levels (that’s where the sugar comes in).  Also… chili powder is mild, but please wait for it when tasting your soup. Chili powder hits just a few seconds after you first taste it. Let it hit your palate. I know a lot of people who taste quickly, spoon in one hand and seasoning in the other. They then immediately start to add more of an ingredient before they let it hit properly. That burn…can creep up slowly, so you have been warned.

Veggie/Turkey Chili

1lb of ground turkey meat

1 onion chopped

3 stalks of celery chopped

3-4 carrots chopped (peeled)

1 green bell pepper chopped (seeds removed)

3 cloves of garlic minced

Olive oil

1 14.5 oz can of chicken broth

2 15 oz cans of beans, rinsed (any kind will do)

1 28 oz can of diced tomatoes

1 tablespoon of tomato paste

Cumin (to taste, I recommend starting with at least 1 tablespoon)

Chili powder (to taste, I recommend starting with at least 3 tablespoons)

Red pepper flakes (if you want some heat)

Salt and Pepper (to taste)

Sugar (to taste, I recommend starting with at least 1 tablespoon)

Heat your pan on med-high. Coat the bottom of the pan with some olive oil. Put in your ground turkey. Season with salt and pepper. While your meat is cooking add all of your chopped veggies except for your garlic. Watch the heat on the stove and cook until the veggies become tender.  Add your garlic and spices and cook for another 1 to 2 minutes.

Add your chicken broth and can of diced tomatoes with the juice/water from the can. Rinse your beans and add them to the chili. Stir in your tomato paste. Add a little bit of sugar. (1 tablespoon to start) Bring the chili to a simmer and then lower the heat, simmering for about 45 minutes to an hour. Taste and season if needed.

Garnish with whatever makes you happy! Sour cream, cheese and onions are always a nice start.

Cook the ground meat and veggies

Add garlic and spice and cook for 1 to 2 minutes

Add chicken broth, tomatoes, and beans

Add tomato paste (LOVE THIS from TJs) and season

Done! (Wanna know a secret..I grabbed grass instead of chives. Yum.)

Brunching it in Portland- Tasty n Sons

For a belated birthday treat, my girlfriends toughed out one of Portland’s most notoriously long wait brunch destinations...Tasty n Sons. Typically my girlfriends and I are pretty good planners. One or two of us usually gets to our Portland brunch destination about an hour ahead of time to get on the list, then the text messages fly and the rest follow.  Shout out (do people still do shout outs?) to Trina and Elizabeth who are usually our early birds. Seriously…I don’t know what I would do without them. I can roll out of bed…put my hair up, throw on a giant $3.00 pair of sunglasses and show up just in time for the coffee to be poured and to disclose to the waiter that our table loves coffee and loves cream and sugar even more.  (Love my girls!)

In this particular case though this was a marathon wait, longer than the  typical 1 hour wait in Portland and I am happy to report it was 98% worth it. How long you ask? Well…I showed up about 45 minutes after the first of us arrived and I am pretty sure we waited at least another hour after that. They are kind enough though to call your cell when you table is ALMOST ready, so you can bum around a bit in the neighborhood.

We were all seated at the big, family table in front of the windowed garage door that was, at this time of year, closed. I have never minded family style, it’s pretty popular in a lot of Portland restaurants and I like the camaraderie of it. I know people who hate it though. So fair warning.

Considering how crazy the place was the service was great. The server was so pleasant, didn’t come across as a food snob server and didn’t miss a beat.  The menu was full of tons of great options and we ordered many of them.  The style of service was what the server described as “family style”. Now this was the only thing that didn’t quite sit right with me. When I think family style, I think we all pass the plates around and take a little on our plates. Tasty n Sons version of this was…whatever is done cooking first gets put on the table for everyone to pick at until the next thing was done. Huh. Alright. “Family Style”  I couldn’t help but think “I don’t want to eat a little of everyone’s, we always take bites from each other’s plates but come on now…back away from my French Toast.”   Also…one of the most impressive things to me about brunch is the kitchen’s timing ability. I have always been impressed by a smooth running kitchen when it comes to the eggs, toast and bacon thing. Timing is everything. It kind of made the food brat in me go…”now where is the skill in that?” I could serve a dinner party and be like…okay mashed potatoes are done…coming up…turkey.  (Actually I think I have done that before.) Really though my group was down for it and we are all about sharing (guess I am the one who needs to learn) and it was not a problem. So as long as you really like the people you are eating with and don’t have deep seeded, selfish, don’t touch my food issues (ahem)…then you will be fine.

The food came out fairly quickly (well yeah…it’s not about timing so of course a plate came out quickly)…a plate here and there. Two plates, a couple bites and then the ohh and ahhhs. First the English Breakfast came out, which was two fried eggs, baked beans, bacon and an English Muffin. The baked beans were really great. Then out came the Sweet Biscuits. They fully took first prize and were only the second on stage. WOW. They were amazing. Light, fluffy and perfectly lovely.  They were drizzled with a warm berry compote and topped with a quenelle of whipped cream.  A few of us ordered the Bambino Plate, which was a small plate of scrambled eggs, bacon and a biscuit with honey butter. I also ordered a half order of French Toast. (I am always on a French Toast mission.) The French toast was good but next time I will switch out for the Sweet Biscuits.  Also served were the Potatoes Brava topped with eggs. Those potatoes were also really delicious. They were tossed in the Toro Bravo sauce. Toro Bravo is the sister restaurant to Tasty n Sons that serves Spanish tapas. The sauce is a Spanish style tomato sauce and it must be tossed in last minute because the potatoes that were either roasted or pan fried are still really crispy when they get to you.

All in all it was worth the wait. Only one more teeny tiny (or to some… BIG) complaint…the bacon. (Gasp!)  I like my bacon thick and smoky. Their bacon was thin and crispy. To each their own.

Tasty n Sons

3808 N Williams

Portland 97212

The English Breakfast

Erin's Sweet Biscuits with warm blueberry compote

Bambino Plate with scrambled eggs, bacon, biscuit & heather's honey butter

Potatoes Bravas with over easy eggs

French Toast...wait weren't we talking about the Sweet Biscuits?

Maggie aka Sunny from Lemony Snicket

D

February felt like a long month.  My friend Derek died.

Derek started experiencing symptoms a couple months ago, numbness that started to spread through his body. When it first started he was diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome.  After the numbness started to spread the doctors wised up and realized that it was not carpal tunnel and tested for everything. They ruled out the “big”, “scary” stuff, like MS and brain tumors. At one point the doctors stated that it was stress related.  It started to progressively get worse and the next thing I know he is in the hospital, still getting tested. I remember hearing he was in the hospital, relieved that they were taking things seriously and working on finding out why D was going numb.  A couple days later I was shocked to find out he was having problems speaking. Then a couple days later he was not speaking at all. It was so shocking. Finally they diagnose him with an infection. A week later Derek died.

I still can’t believe that I just wrote that.  It felt like he was stolen. It went from trying to find answers to suddenly being slapped in the face with his death. It happened so quickly. This experience has been particularly hard because I am friends with his wife. It’s been heartbreaking knowing she is going through losing D. It feels really helpless knowing there isn’t much you can do or say to help her.

D and I met seven years ago when management made the mistake of sitting us in desks that faced each other.  He was a big, tall, fully tatted, shaved headed, Star Wars geek, who listened to metal and made no apologies for the things he did or said. There were many times that we laughed to the point of tears. Eventually management moved us. I suspect because we misbehaved too much.

Derek always pushed me out of my comfort zone and I never regretted it once.  Okay maybe the next day a few times but the memories were worth it. The man knew how to have fun.

Derek was the first person I texted when I got my tattoo. It was something along the lines of, “YOU LIAR!!! THAT HURT LIKE HELL!” and his reply was something like, “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”.  He most recently helped me get my new position at work. He was the one who told me to apply for it. Prepped me for the interviews and encouraged me when I was worried about not getting it.

Derek was also crazy in love with Karie.  I envied the way he looked at her. They were inseparable. I never once heard him ever say something rude to her.  They were so perfect for each other. On more than one occasion when my friends and I would be out together, at some point during the night it would come up how lucky they both were and how we hoped to find someone to love us like Derek loved Karie. I remember watching Karie and Derek have their first dance at their wedding and just seeing how madly in love he was with her. I watched him get emotional and her sweet smile. I know a lot of people could say that about couples but anyone who knew Derek and Karie know that it was a different level with them. I am pretty sure he was born to love her. That and to go to Deftones shows.

D really was the best.  I will miss my friend and my heart breaks for Karie for losing him. We all said goodbye to him last week and it still feels really surreal.

Love you D.

The Great Distractors

Things have been a little sad in my neck of the woods for myself and many of my friends. A good friend is very ill and things are looking pretty grim. We are all kind of in a state of shock. It was very unexpected, happened so fast and I think we are all still wondering what the heck just happened?!

I have been trying to figure out what to post lately. With everything going on and this cold still dragging me down, nothing tastes good and I am not in much of a mood for another dating tale. Thankfully (THICK SARCASM) I don't sleep, so I have plenty of time to sit and click away at my keyboard. Yay for insomnia and all the time that you normal people don't have because you are snoozing away.

My friend Jess informed me that she is distracting herself from the gloom with a movie, Doctor Zhivago. Classic and lovely. I started to think about all my favorite movies. The great distractors. I thought well now..why don't I post a few of my more random favorites. Now...no judging...no movie snobs allowed. These are just movies I love...to take me out of my head and into another story for a couple of hours. No phones, laptops or iPads allowed for multitasking. (Seriously...when was the last time you didn't multitask at home while watching a movie? I know right?!)

Lights off...movie on. Nothing less...nothing more...except perhaps a cozy blanket, my pup and my black ninja hoodie.


The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Pirates, submarines, rich foes, three legged dogs, Bowie sung in Brazilian by Seu Jorge, Willem Dafoe in little shorts, Mr. Bill Murray. This movie is so fun. I am pretty sure I had a smile on my face the entire time I watched it the first time. Thank you, as always, Wes Anderson.

Some Like It Hot

I grew up with this movie. I am pretty sure that I can quote this movie from start to finish and have worked most of the lines of this movie into my every day speak. In fact, if you are friends with me and have never seen this, you might be just a little horrified when you recognize just how many lines I have stolen from this movie.

Some Like It Hot tells the story of two men, running from the mafia, who decide to join an all girl-band to get away. They cross-dress to "hide" in the band and are faced with another challenge...being young straight men, who have to pretend to be women, in a band with Sugar Kane Kowalczyk, played by Marilyn Monroe. She does not make it easy. I think this movie is beyond timeless and so funny. You could even call it a bit of terrific.

The Last of the Mohicans

Daniel Day-Lewis, rushing to rescue you over and over again. I'm distracted. Who cares that it's a great story. (yep...statement...not a question)

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

This movie cracks me up. It is so easy to love Romy and Michelle. The cast is recognizable and sharp, with Janeane Garofalo, and Alan Cumming. This movie makes me happy, with flash-backs, flash-forwards and a three-some dance scene at the end that doesn't even feel random, even though it really is.

The Fall

Still to this day the most stunning movie I have ever seen. It is so beautiful, with a great story and the most adorable child-actor...ever. This movie is tops for me and I will always watch it with wide-eyes.

A PostSecret Valentine for You

I loved this years ago when it first came out and I still love it today AND since it is about love AND it's Valentine's Day...I say...watch it..and then watch it again.


Happy Valentine's Day!
May it be filled with the love you need.

-Lauren




If you have not visited PostSecret's blog...DO. It's amazing and is updated each Sunday. I laugh, cringe and sometimes (OK..always) get a bit choked up when I read Sunday's Secerts.

Jon and the Tale of the Tiny Slippers

Well day three of being miserable with my cold. I dragged myself to work and I know that I must clearly sound and look terrible because everyone was avoiding me. As they should. It was nice actually, I got a lot work done, well as much as my fuzzy, stuffed up head allowed.

I am at that sick and whiny point where I really just want someone to bring me juice, tell me to go bed and force me to eat some well seasoned, palate pleasing soup. This would be the cue for most people's mother. My mother makes great chicken soup and I think I could convince her at this point to make it for me. BUT my mom happens to be in Vegas.

This has, however, put me in the right frame of mind to talk about Jon. What struck me about Jon's profile the most was his picture. He had the best smile in his picture. Full on, big, giant, toothy grin. He looked happy. He was really cute and honestly, that combined with the down earth sounding profile certainly sounded like he would be a nice date. HOWEVER...when we met it was very clear from the start that the photograph was taken AWHILE ago.

Jon was probably about 50 pounds heavier than his picture. Seriously. Come on. At some point you have to meet the girl who will clearly see that you have gained some weight since then. Not just a few pounds but a significant amount of weight. I am sure that he immediately saw the surprise on my face, but I smiled through it and wasn't sure what to say. It was the only picture he had posted and clearly he didn't look much like that guy anymore. He did have that same great smile though and he was cute. Normally I would have had no problem dating him the way he looked at that present moment, but the bait and switch thing...kinda bugged me.

We small talked for a bit and as the ice broke I finally confronted him about the picture. He mentioned that his mother thought it was nice picture of him. (Mother being the key word and the foreshadowing part of this story.) He also stated he had been working really hard to lose weight to get back to the guy that was in that picture. He genuinely apologized and I pointed out that he was great looking and that it doesn't do him any justice to post a picture like that. Honestly my heart went out to him and we ended going out for a few weeks after I got to know him a bit more on the date.

According to Jon he owned a great home, had a slew of man toys and seemed to have a pretty comfortable life. That is why I was so surprised when I would talk to him to hear that he was staying at his mother's house for the night. It happened. A lot. I even remember saying to him, "Again? Do you ever stay at your own place?" He would just laugh it off.

A few weeks later I went over to his place for the first time. We got take-out and watched a movie. I walked in and could not believe how clean his house was. Like, freakishly clean. Sparkly white, shiny, clean. Clean..clean. Really clean. He immediately asked me to take off my shoes (I guess that's a clean trick) and when I did I noticed a small pair of girl's slippers. I inquired about the slippers and he said, "Oh those are my mom's." She clearly had very tiny feet.

As I walked through his uber clean home, I noticed that he had a house that looked as though Laura Ashley had decorated it. Not exactly the bachelor pad I was expecting. There were fake flowers everywhere. We brought the food in and I asked about what we should drink. He pointed me to the fridge and I opened it and saw a huge stack of Tupperware. In fact, besides Diet Coke, that is ALL that was all that was in the fridge. The man didn't even have hot sauce. On each Tupperware container was a piece of masking tape, with the day of the week and a label that said, breakfast, lunch or dinner. (Oh my.) I grabbed a diet coke and he explained that his mother always made his food for him. (Oh dear.)

After dinner he gave me a tour of the rest of the house and I noticed in almost every major room was a tiny pair of slippers. He showed me his boat, which required us to walk through the laundry room. There stacked on the dryer was beautifully folded clothing, thanks once again to mom. Although really? Why not put it away at this point Jon's Mom? You labeled the Tupperware, but you didn't put away the laundry?! SOMEONE was clearly slacking, while shuffling around in her tiny slippers.

The tour had all but ended, when we passed by another room with the door open. At this point, I had seen all I needed to see, but I really didn't expect this last room. He almost walked by it, which I guess shows some manly pride, but the door was open and I flipped on the light. (It was a tour right?!)

Oh...the Laura Ashley explosion in front of me. Laura Ashley bed. Laura Ashley curtains, fake flowers and tiny slippers right by the entrance. He informed me...it was his mother's room. <Insert "Whaaaaaaaaaat?!" facial expression here> I looked at him and said, "Buuuuuuut.... doesn't your mom live in Clackamas with your Dad?" (aka...the suburb right next to you?!) He nonchalantly replied, "Yeah...but when I don't stay with them, sometimes she stays with me."

I am guessing that if Jon had the cold that I have now, his mother would be there, with her tiny slippers, telling him to get to bed and to eat some soup, from the labeled Tupperware that she had prepared for him.

I broke up with him that night.

Art Show and a Birthday Surprise

Today and yesterday have been a bit of a bust. I have spent the last two days in bed dealing with a bad cold. Thank goodness I have my pup, Poppy to keep me company. She has NO problem laying in bed all day with me.

Thursday I headed up to Seattle with my cousin, Jessica. We had a great time bumming around Seattle, had a yummy meal at The Palace Kitchen and went to our friend Dallas Brooks' art show. It was so great to see Dallas and by far her art was some of the best displayed that night. Later, we met up with some of my friends. We enjoyed some late night Irish music, Irish cheese and a lot of laugher. It was great to be back in Seattle and I wish we could have stayed longer.

Jessica, Me, and Dallas

Friday was my birthday and I woke up to a wonderful surprise. My sister Katie gave birth to my niece, Georiga Lee. She was two weeks early and CLEARLY wanted the whole world to know who she expects to have love her the most...her Auntie Lauren. Smart girl. Jessica and I headed home and I went straight to my sister's house to meet my darling Georgia. I spent many hours hanging out with baby Georgia and my family. Georgia is just a slice of pie. I can't wait to watch that kid grow up along side her big brothers.

Wheat Berry Salad and a Big Thank You

It's been less than a month since I started this blog and honestly I am overwhelmed at the amount of people reading my tales of dating, recipes and the other bits and pieces of my life that I share. Thank you for the comments and feedback. I have enjoyed reading them and the feedback has at times been amusing, shocking and delightful. If I don't post your comment, don't take it personal (or do...whatever). It is MY blog after all. I mean, come on, my Mom and my Aunt Barb read this and although I know they can handle the occasional F-Bomb (maybe not Aunt Barb) or at least appreciate the warning to avoid it, I do have to consider the kind of things that end up in the comments section.

Either way...thank you for reading.

Tomorrow I head up to Seattle for a couple of days with my cousin Jessica. We are going to see our friend, Dallas Brooks at the opening of an art show she is in. I am so proud of Dallas and can't wait to see her and her amazing pieces on display. It will make for a really lovely start to what has turned into a bit of a birthday weekend for me. Saturday and Sunday will be spent with friends doing two things I love...eating and bowling under black light (you didn't know that?! yeah...bowling AND black light.)

It also looks like I finally got assigned a new cooking class. My last one got cancelled so I have been itching to get back in the kitchen classroom. I will keep you posted, but rumor has it...I will be teaching kids. (holy moly!) I am a bit nervous but know it will be really fun if I get the assignment, so fingers crossed. It will start in March.

I am leaving you with a salad recipe that is inspired by a salad that I get EVERYTIME I am at New Seasons. (Yes...by now you have figured out that I shop there a lot.) It is a wheat berry salad with a citrus vinaigrette, almonds, spinach and ricotta salata cheese. It is so yummy.

Wheat berries are the grain that they actually grind to make flour. For those of you with food storage you will recognize these lovely little grains. For the salad (and a lot of other great recipes) you boil them in water and salt for about an hour, drain them and they become chewy and soft. You can buy it from the bulk bins in many stores or the brand Bob's Red Mill also sells them in the same section you get flour. They are very affordable with a bag of Bob's Red Mill running about $2.50.

I did some hunting on the Internet and discovered that New Season's is basically using the exact same recipe as Heidi Swanson's recipe in her cookbook Super Natural Cooking. The only difference is the nut (she uses pine nuts) and the cheese (she uses feta).

I think either nut or cheese would be great, although if you can get your hands on some ricotta salata, do. It is pretty fantastic. Ricotta salata is a pressed, salted and drier version of the creamy ricotta you are probably used to. It's one of my favorite cheeses (okay they all are) and is kind of reminiscent of Mizithra. (Oh and sorry for the terrible picture...only had the camera phone this time.)

Wheat Berry Salad with Spinach and Ricotta Salta
adapted from New Season's and Heidi Swanson

2 cups of soft wheat berries
6 cups of water
2 tsp of salt
One bunch of baby spinach rinsed, stemmed
1 cup of toasted almonds
1/2 cup of crumbled Ricotta Salata

Citrus Dressing

Grated zest and juice of 1 orange
1 TB freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 TB of minced shallot
1/2 cup of olive oil
Salt and Pepper
Combine the wheat berries, water and 2 tsp of salt in a large saucepan over med-high heat. Bring to a boil, lower the heat, and simmer, covered...until plump and chewy, about an hour or so. The berries will be al dente, (aka not mushy), so you have to taste them for doneness. Drain them and season them with more salt if needed.

To make the dressing, combine the zest, citrus juices, shallots, salt and pepper and whisk in the olive oil until combined.
Toss the hot wheat berries with the dressing, then add the spinach, almonds and cheese. You can serve the salad right away, eat it at room temperature or chilled.

The *facepalm* moment

This scene from Swingers is so classic and completely relatable. (Sigh.) So relatable. Oh and please don't get me wrong...Mikey would be ME when I am talking about being relatable. A moment like this is what I like to call a *facepalm* moment. I have been having a few of these lately.

Mikey...I know you aren't crazy.

Fair warning there is one very appropriate f-bomb.

(I have to watch this movie again. It's so money.)

Eleven Madison Park

I am a list maker. I have lists jotted down all over the place. My mouse pad is a sketch book purely for the purpose of making lists while I am on the computer. Naturally as a list maker I have complied multiple versions of bucket lists. Places I want to travel, things I want to do, things I want to avoid and of course, being the foodie I am, places I want to eat.

One of those places is Eleven Madison Park in New York City. This is one of the few restaurants to achieve a 4 star rating from the New York Times and THREE Michelin stars (2012). Their food is literally the most beautiful food I have ever seen. Pure art. They have a four course lunch or dinner for a set price or tasting menus for a little bit more fun (oh and of course money).

In November, much to my delight, a cookbook was published. Daniel Humm is the executive chef behind this marvelous place and it is his works of art that show up in this cookbook. Honestly, I couldn't begin to have the skill set to attempt many of these dishes in the cookbook. It's kind of like enjoying painting and then buying an art book of Modigliani's work with his instructions on how to paint his masterpieces. Hey...he even includes the exact paint colors he used. (Not going to happen.)You buy the book for the art and trust me this book does not disappoint. Its stunning pictures are worthy of any coffee table and keep me occupied for very long periods of time looking through it.

I officially want to switch to all white dinnerware and can't wait to someday dine here and take in the show. Below are some of the beautiful dishes they serve as well as the delightful promotional video for the cookbook.

Valentine's Day and JewPac

Oh my goodness what a gorgeous weekend we had here in Portland. Poppy and I headed out for an urban hike yesterday. Out and about, splattered everywhere are hearts, XOs, cupids and a huge amount of pink and red. Valentine's Day is coming upon us very quickly. Now unlike what I imagine you might be thinking about a single gal, I actually do NOT hate Valentine's Day. In fact, I find it rather charming. It might have something to do with my birthday being so close to the holiday. I grew up with birthday parties filled with hearts, reds and pinks, and the ultimate combination of those things, pink frosted cupcakes with red juju hearts. I also like the thought that there is a holiday that reminds you to say I love you. I think the overpriced flowers, expensive dinners and cheesy Hallmark cards are a bit annoying, but I do think the cheap bouquet of flowers from Trader Joe's, the homemade romantic dinner and the love note are pretty sweet. I also think that the Valentine's sent to nieces and nephews, the pink cupcakes with juju hearts for co-workers and the cheap flowers from Trader Joes of pink and red carnations for the dining room are pretty great too.

On that romantic note I am going to attempt transition to perhaps the most epically bad date I have ever had. Jewpac. Now...you should know that I thought long and hard on how much of this date I wanted to admit to you. There were a lot of moments that were really, really, stupid on my part. I was talking to my friend about the upcoming post. This friend knows the Jewpac story well and asked if I was just going to focus on him or if I was going to admit my crazy parts too. Okay...yes, best to be truthful. So, you will get the un-embellished, full (ish) story.

This date happened the night before Thanksgiving. I was still very new to the online dating scene and really had only been on a few dates, including Dr. Bob. Dave, aka Jewpac, had the wittiest online profile I had ever come across. It was so funny and well written. A little strange but it was really refreshing. He was clearly a writer and seemed like an interesting and fun person. He was 40, no kids, never been married, and seemed to be the change I was craving from the polo wearing, Intel boys I had been dating without any sparks. I had noticed in many of his pictures he wore a bandanna on his head like Tupac, but he was always outdoors in outdoorsy situations or working on cars when he had one on in the picture, so I didn't really think anything of it. Plus he was clearly quirky. I just went with it.

We chatted on the phone once before the date and he completely charmed me by being a little strange, jumping around in conversation and making cute comments about what he was learning about me. (shhh...I know...you will start to see all the little signs that I didn't catch at first. Trust me I know. I know.) He wanted to go out right away and we made a date to meet at a pub, the next night.

I got all dolled up and got to the pub before he did. He walked in wearing what was clearly a vintage seventies navy suit, I think possibly polyester, or some blend of plastics. He had his fingernails painted and was wearing the bandanna in the style of Tupac. Now, I don't necessarily have any issues with any of those things. The combination was interesting though. We hugged and he asked where we wanted to sit. I pointed to a booth in the middle of the restaurant and he turned and pointed to an empty section instead. We went over to the empty section, grabbed a booth, and sat down. We ordered a couple drinks and some stuff to munch on. He was, at that time, explaining to me that he ALWAYS wears the bandanna and that he calls it his Jewpac, because he was Jewish and well...you get it. I remember looking at him going, "All the time?" and he replied, "ALL the time." As the food was placed on the table, he got up and then slid up next to me on my side of the booth. I laughed, a little surprised but he just explained he wanted to smell me. (I know.) But I do have a really nice perfume (TokyoMilk) and in my head that made total sense. I would want to sit next to me. 

So there we were sitting side by side, eating, drinking and actually laughing a lot. I was in the middle of a story when I got distracted by the fact that he was looking down in his lap. I then noticed that MY purse was in his lap. I immediately was like, "ummmm...whatcha doing?" as I slowly reached for my purse. He showed me my camera and explained he was going through my pictures. At that point I had one hand on my purse and the other on the camera that was in his hands. I just thought of the situation as one of those charming eccentricities that I was kind of enjoying from him up to that point.I then told him I didn't want him looking at the pictures. Now I wasn't angry, I was actually laughing while I said it and just told him I didn't want him to see those pictures yet and that I wasn't even sure what was on the camera. Next thing I know he is glaring at me, moves back to the other side of the booth and explains he is angry at me. I thought he was joking and after me thinking I was playing along by acting offended, it became clear that he WASN'T joking. I remember at one point saying, "Are you serious?" and he replied, "Yes. You make me feel like a thief. I would never do that to anyone. I don't think this date is going to work out." I was a little dumbfounded and it was then that our fresh drinks had just been put down by the server. He grabbed his drink and then squinted his eyes and examined me in silence for a good minute. I sat there sipping my drink through the little straw as quickly as I could trying to think of how to get the hell out of there. I grabbed my purse and got out some lip gloss to distract myself. As soon as I pulled out the pink, sparkly, lip gloss out and put it on, it was like a trigger had been activated inside of him. It was as though he had decided that I was not worthy of his artistic eccentricities and his uber jewpac hipsterness.

He started his verbal assault. He was firing away questions of coolness at me. Why do you live in the burbs and not downtown? What was the last show I had seen? Do I shop at the Gap? Was I popular in high school? Was I cheerleader? I felt my defenses totally rising and didn't even get a chance to answer him, he was firing the questions so quickly at me. As he continued with his attack, I started to listen to the angry thoughts clustering and swimming in my head. How dare he? He doesn't know me? He has NO IDEA what a dork I was in high school? Then I started to think, so WHAT if I like pink lip gloss?! What IF I was a cheerleader in high school, does that matter?!

Then he really ticked me off. He overheard the band, Of Montreal playing through the speakers at the pub and starting in on my indie music knowledge. Well, that was it. I listen to a lot of great music but at this point didn't think that this douchebag deserved to get to know me anymore. He started to go off on how Of Montreal is one of the greatest bands (they aren't THAT great), then the Sex Pistols came on and he demanded I tell him who was playing. I replied calmly that I didn't know. The bill was being paid and I was scooping up my stuff getting ready to walk out the door. He followed me out the door, yelling at me the entire time. I just kept walking telling him, "I don't know who is playing." I finally got to my car and he was still insisting I tell him who was playing, to just take a guess.

I snapped.

Now... I am not a yeller. I don't find it necessary in fighting. I am usually clever enough when it comes to arguments that I can zing people pretty effectively in a very level tone of voice. However, Jewpac had pushed me to the insane yelling point. I never even yelled at my ex-husband in the worst parts of our divorce. I probably should have, but in other words, it doesn't happen very often. I don't really remember what I said to him. Something about how dare he...who cares what I like...and by the way I like Britney Spears and oh...it was THE SEX PISTOLS PLAYING!! A few more things along those lines, with some pretty foul language mixed in, all spewing from my sparkly, pink lips. I started to come to, peering out of my fog of crazy anger, and noticed out of the corner of my eye a small crowd of people had gathered to listen to our fight and then I focused on Dave (aka Jewpac) and saw he had a big smile on his face. I stopped right in the middle of whatever I was saying and yelled, "What?!" He spoke softly and said, "That's all I wanted to know. The Sex Pistols." Then he grabbed me and kissed me. Of course I was shocked. Then......I kind of...ummm... kissedhimback. Yes..I kissed back. (HEY! I hadn't had a good kiss from anyone in awhile so...CUT ME SOME SLACK)

We didn't kiss for long, but it did shut us both up long enough for the little crowd that was watching us to get bored,NOT call the cops and go along their separate ways. When we stopped kissing, I stepped away from him and in a daze of..what just happened here?!, said to him, "Okay, well...Happy Thanksgiving. Hope your brisket turns out. The kissing was nice but I don't really think this is going to work out." He just smiled, shrugged his shoulders and said goodnight.

I was so relieved to get home. It was at that moment of false security that I realized my cell-phone was missing. I had my work blackberry at the time, so I called my phone from my work phone about a dozen times. I called the pub, drove back and looked all around for it. It was gone. I went back home pretty deflated about the missing phone and the crazy date I had just been on. I called my phone one last time and this time someone picked up. It was Jewpac. He answered tentatively and then goes, "It's the strangest thing, I don't know how your phone got in my coat pocket. But I would be happy to meet up for a second date and give it to you." I died.

We made arrangements to meet up right away. He showed up, this time in a full length fur coat and women's pajamas. Maybe they weren't women's pjs you say???  Nope. Because when I saw him I immediately said, "Dave...are you wearing women's pajamas?" and he replied, "Yes, I am." (uh-huh) I took the phone from his hand, shaking my head and finally around 3:00 AM, my date was over.

I still hear from Jewpac every now and then. At one point, about a month after the date, he informed me that he was writing a book and that he acted that way for material and asked me if I was interested in going out again. I declined. I do enjoy his sporadic emails though, he's a pretty entertaining writer.

 NOT Jewpac.

(Oh...and when I googled "JewPac"...a picture of Aunt Becky came up from Full House. Huh.)