Derek started experiencing symptoms a couple months ago,
numbness that started to spread through his body. When it first started he was diagnosed
with carpal tunnel syndrome. After the numbness
started to spread the doctors wised up and realized that it was not carpal
tunnel and tested for everything. They ruled out the “big”, “scary” stuff, like
MS and brain tumors. At one point the doctors stated that it was stress
related. It started to progressively get
worse and the next thing I know he is in the hospital, still getting tested. I
remember hearing he was in the hospital, relieved that they were taking things seriously and working on
finding out why D was going numb. A
couple days later I was shocked to find out he was having problems speaking.
Then a couple days later he was not speaking at all. It was so shocking.
Finally they diagnose him with an infection. A week later Derek died.
I still can’t believe that I just wrote that. It felt like he was stolen. It went from trying to find answers to
suddenly being slapped in the face with his death. It happened so quickly. This
experience has been particularly hard because I am friends with his wife. It’s
been heartbreaking knowing she is going through losing D. It feels really
helpless knowing there isn’t much you can do or say to help her.
D and I met seven years ago when management made the mistake
of sitting us in desks that faced each other.
He was a big, tall, fully tatted, shaved headed, Star Wars geek, who
listened to metal and made no apologies for the things he did or said. There
were many times that we laughed to the point of tears. Eventually management
moved us. I suspect because we misbehaved too much.
Derek always pushed
me out of my comfort zone and I never regretted it once. Okay maybe the next day a few times but the
memories were worth it. The man knew how to have fun.
Derek was the first person I texted when I got my tattoo. It
was something along the lines of, “YOU LIAR!!! THAT HURT LIKE HELL!” and his
reply was something like, “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”.
He most recently helped me get my new position at work. He was the one
who told me to apply for it. Prepped me for the interviews and encouraged me
when I was worried about not getting it.
Derek was also crazy in love with Karie. I envied the way he looked at her. They were inseparable.
I never once heard him ever say something rude to her. They were so perfect for each other. On more than
one occasion when my friends and I would be out together, at some point during
the night it would come up how lucky they both were and how we hoped to find
someone to love us like Derek loved Karie. I remember watching Karie and Derek
have their first dance at their wedding and just seeing how madly in love he
was with her. I watched him get emotional and her sweet smile. I know a lot of people could say that about couples but anyone
who knew Derek and Karie know that it was a different level with them. I am pretty sure he was born to love her. That and to go to Deftones shows.
D really was the best. I will miss my friend and my heart breaks for Karie
for losing him. We all said goodbye to him last week and it still feels really
surreal.
Love you D.
